The Entrepreneurial Mom's Guide to Work-Life Harmony

Balancing the high-wire act of motherhood and entrepreneurship, I, Angela McKay, take you through the intimate triumphs and challenges in our latest heart-to-heart conversation. Every mother's journey is her own, and in this exchange, I unfold my story of steering a business amidst the beautiful chaos of raising seven spirited children. Shedding light on the necessity of grace, I explore the art of prioritizing, the courage to say 'no,' and the power of being present, offering fellow mom entrepreneurs the tools to navigate their dual roles without succumbing to burnout.

It's easy to fall prey to the comparison trap in our picture-perfect digital age, but I invite you to step back with me and celebrate your unique path with gratitude and self-acceptance. Diving into the intricate dance of my own experiences in network marketing, I illustrate how to shift focus from societal pressures to personal victories—big or small. Learn how to leverage a gratitude journal and realistic goal-setting to keep you grounded and moving forward, and why embracing divine timing can be your best ally in the entrepreneurial pursuit.

Finally, let's gear up for a series designed to invigorate your weeks with purposeful growth strategies. I'll share a sneak peek into our upcoming discussions on productivity that promise to redefine intentional business building. Each episode is tailored to serve as a companion through the rough patches, a catalyst for motivation, and a beacon for those seeking fulfillment in both business and life. Join me, and together, let's chart a course towards balance and success, one hat at a time.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:30

Hey guys, welcome back to the Laundromat Diaries. This is Angela McKay, your host, and today we're diving into the second episode of a productivity series and I think this one's gonna be really great for everyone out there who is an entrepreneur and a mom, or maybe you're looking at that path, maybe you're considering jumping in and starting that dream that you have, maybe you've got a product you wanna bring to market, or you wanna get into the digital space or the network marketing space as an entrepreneur. Wherever you sit, as a business woman or a possible business owner, this episode's gonna help you because it is all about embracing the grace of entrepreneurship, and I say that as a mom of seven that has worked outside the home and inside the home and understanding that my role as a mother and my role as an individual and entrepreneur have to really come together and work in harmony. And for a while that wasn't the case, and I'm gonna really kind of take you in to a few of the times in my business where the struggle was so real, in what I've learned and how I've learned from my own experiences, and I've taken that now to clients that I coach and help them work through so they don't go through that same struggle space of mom, guilt, negative comparison, limiting beliefs, procrastination, yada, yada, yada Like we could go on forever, right? So hang with me. I'm here today, I'm a little unfiltered and I've got a little bit of a cold, so I'm rocking a deeper voice.

Speaker 1: 3:12

But this message is so important. I wanted to just come in and just give it to you, kind of in the nitty gritty of life, and get this content to you. So let's dive in and let's just talk a little bit about, like, really, what does it mean to embrace grace and find balance in the midst of chaos? And when I say chaos, you know I think we always have that scene. I always go back to that scene like in Home Alone, where everyone's running everywhere, because you know, as a mom of seven, we've got lots of people and we've got lots of lanes running all through the house, and so I always go into that space of chaos where you feel like you're out of control but you're trying to get something accomplished, and I really think that's what chaos is.

Speaker 1: 3:59

It doesn't have to be a scene with a hundred kids running in every direction, you know, like packing for Paris, like Home Alone, but it does feel like that sometimes in life as a mom, it feels like that when you're just trying to get the kids out the door somewhere or get through the evening hours of homework and dinner and preparation for the next day, and then when you layer in entrepreneurship and your phone notifications are going off or you have a deadline in the back of your mind but you're trying to be a hundred percent present as a mom, it can feel like chaos. And so today I really want to talk about that and unpack that with you, because I know in my seasons where I was trying to be the yes mom and the yes boss and be everything to everyone, I was on a quick route to burnout and I had to quickly understand that no was not negative and it was actually necessary and it was important for me to learn how to prioritize my life so that I could say yes and not feel the chaos of the moment and not feel like everything is out of control, but understand there's only so much that I could actually control. And so when I'm coaching a lot of moms, I work with a lot of moms, especially in the network marketing space or the small business space, and they're saying I really struggle with going to work or showing up for business partners or business calls when my kids are around, because I don't want to be quote unquote that mom and I always say pump the brakes right there, because right there we're starting to place negativity on an idea of productivity. You have to understand that that mom has some negative condensation that, like your, you're thinking about it in a way that's making you feel bad, and so I want you to flip the switch with your productivity and when you're putting on your mom hat, you're showing up 100% as mom and you're giving your kids 100% of the attention You're not scrolling and parenting, you're 100% in that lane. But then in turn, when you're on a business call, you take off the mom hat for a minute, you put on the boss hat and you go 100% in that lane. And by learning how to navigate the hats that we wear, especially as mom bosses, it really helps you to not have the guilt of being present as a mom or in your business. Because if you're constantly classifying yourself as that mom in every lane, you're going to feel overwhelmed, you're going to feel bogged down, you're going to feel negative, you're going to start to either resent the family or the job or yourself, and that is not what you want to do. So in order to kind of kick mom guilt to the curb, which is what you need to do, is you have to start to change your filter on what you're doing and that all really focuses around purpose.

Speaker 1: 7:02

You know, for me, when I was working my business in the early days and I'd have to go you know drive to a meeting, this was after owning brick mortar boutiques, but like I got into network marketing, so I was doing like the hotel living room meetings way back then before social media, and I remember I would sit there and I would. At first I struggled with the chaos, I struggled with the mom guilt, but then I heard somebody talk about like you can't guilt your way to success. It's going to hold you back always and forever. And I had to learn how to navigate my own emotions and my own limiting beliefs. And so I started to really focus on purpose. And when I was missing a dinner once a week not missing all the dinners, moms, but maybe once a week I had to work while my family ate, and that's okay Because it shows your kids that one you love them, but you also have to have your own set of like life and lane as an independent, not just as a mom. So we would just focus on, like, thursday nights mom's not eating dinner here, dad's running the show, I'm going to work, and that was kind of our norm and that, because I set it as a norm, it wasn't hard to leave, although it's ever fun to leave your family but I knew I was doing it for a purpose, so that I could eventually have more time with them and have more freedom and flexibility. So the short term sacrifices we're going to lead to long term gains.

Speaker 1: 8:42

And you know what I always tell moms come into my coaching circle and they say you know, I just really feel guilty. They say make a dream board, make a vision board for your family you have one for you as an entrepreneur, but then make one with the kids you know. Make or set a really great goal around your business goal. So I did that at the beginning with seven kids. I said if mom hits this goal when I do it I spoke into it we're going to go to Disney World and we're not just going to go to Disney World, we're going to stay at the best place and we're going to do all the things and it's going to be amazing and we dreamt about it and we talked about it and I remember there were so many times my one, son Landon, who now is 18 and a senior, but he would sit there and if I was at dinner he's like, hey, don't you need to work right now, like we want Disney World. And so it was like all of a sudden we all had a common focus on what I was doing. So I knew I was working for their dream. They were okay, missing mom for dinner once in a while because hey, she's going to hit that goal and we're going to go to Disney World.

Speaker 1: 9:49

And all of a sudden I found myself in a lane of productivity, not fighting on that mom, and I started to get the success that I knew I could achieve. It really changed the course of how I started to show up as a mom and as an entrepreneur, and so you know, it's really kind of cultivating that mindset so that you don't get in your own way as entrepreneurs and especially women, hear me, as women we get in our own way with our thoughts sometimes and by really being smart and how we facilitate our lanes in life, what hat we're wearing and what we're doing. It was a game changer for me. I knew when I was mom I had my phone somewhere else and I would do like a drive-by. I would check like once an hour to see if there was anything urgent and I would go put those priorities, if it wasn't urgent, into the time block when I put my boss hat on and that's when I would attend to those text messages. No one was going to die if I didn't tell them how to get that product sale right then and there. And you know what, ultimately, when I was working with my team, they respected that too, knowing that I was not just there, just right there every second, that I really had a space and a life for both of my lanes, as a mom and a boss. And so you know, that's things that I teach in my inner circle and it really it's been such a life changer for me.

Speaker 1: 11:22

I learned that, you know, about a year into the business and now, 15 years, I feel like I don't have that chaos, that scene from home alone. It doesn't exist in my mind and although there's sometimes challenges, because I'm real, the reality is, friend is I stay in productivity because I have a plan in place and it's that mindset to understand that and the mindset that my family and the expectations we have, that makes it functional and it helps us thrive. And so, you know, it's kind of like giving yourself a little grace there, saying we're gonna figure it out, we're gonna try a few things and we're gonna get our groove and figure out what works for our family and our business and our goals. So releasing that mom guilt and overcoming self doubt and the pressures that we put on our self or we feel. You know, I always used to make the joke like I am not the Pinterest mom.

Speaker 1: 12:19

Like you know, I hang out on Pinterest. I always look for the cool you know thing that I probably won't make and it's my place for last minute dinners. That's really what I'd use Pinterest for up until recently, but that's a topic for another day. But really I didn't want to try to feel like I was keeping up with the mom club. I was like, just, you know, when I started as a mother, I was a young mother, about 20, when I had my first son and you know, as I've grown and raised seven kids and still kind of in that lane, raising them still for the next several years. What I've learned is that I did not want to be like everyone else. Not everyone else has seven kids. Not everyone else has the same goals. Not everyone else has the same belief system. And when I started to just give myself that personal grace to say you know good, I'm happy, I'll celebrate that mom over there because she's passionate about you know cookie design, but for me I'll probably burn the cookies. I'll probably buy the cookies. If I'm being honest, I'm not a cookie maker.

Speaker 1: 13:29

However, I am great at this, and instead of just stopping at what I'm not good at, I always finish it with what I'm great at, because so often, ladies, we get to the point of I'm not this on social media, my business, I can't sell this, or I won't have this, or she's better than that. That comparison syndrome will drown out your success and keep you stuck forever if you let it. And so I always say train your brain. So when you start to it's a habit you're gonna say you know, I am not that I'm not a social media gal, but I'm great at one-on-one conversation. Then go, be great at one-on-one conversation and build your business. Don't camp out on I'm not good at social media. Right, I'm not a recruiter, that's what I hear all the time. But but what? But I do believe in the products and I wanna help people get results. Okay, we're gonna go over here in this land and we're gonna focus on what you're great at and eventually the recruiting will come into play.

Speaker 1: 14:41

But if you focus on what you're not, you will have lack and you will not grow. And so, understanding that and really just releasing yourself of this guilt that we play on ourselves as moms and really as what we play on ourselves as entrepreneurs, being our own boss we can. We don't have someone to kind of slap us and say, hey, shake it off, let's get back out there. That's what this podcast is for. I mean, I'm here today to tell you you've gotta like, shake that off and you've gotta go back to the positive of what you are. Focus on what you're good at and become great at it. Don't focus on what you're not good at, because every one of you has gifts and if you activate those gifts in your business, you will get results. So just releasing mom guilt is going to help with your productivity.

Speaker 1: 15:34

And then I really think the most important thing to celebrate not like the big stuff. See, I'm a network marketer by trade and so like. Usually there's ranks right Like titles people are working towards and people get hyper focused on those almost to a flaw, honestly where their long-term vision is so big that they just overlooked what they did today in their business to move the dial forward. And so every day in my journal I start my day out with three goals, and every day at the end of my gratitude journal I write out three wins. See, if we start focusing on the wins, those little steps that move you forward, you're not gonna go and have that guilt of like oh my gosh, my day wasn't what I thought it was. No, it wasn't and it probably never will be, because we have big, audacious goals, but we have life and we have to pivot, especially his moms. It's okay. It's okay, friend, but what you can do is be intentional, start working a productivity system and really focus on what you did do, focus on what you did accomplish and celebrate that and know that tomorrow you can get more done.

Speaker 1: 16:52

I feel like that is half the battle in life. Instead of sitting there saying whoa is me, my day started with spilt Cheerios and it just went downhill from there, instead say you know what the Cheerios spilt? We had a good morning, we got off the door and it was a good day. Don't take that moment and make it a monumental event for the day. I used to do this, and I say this so candidly and I would just like watch everything unravel and it was just the power of what we focus on, right. And so when you focus on that one person in your business that did not join your team and all you think about is them, or that one person who left your business and all you think about is them, guess what you're missing out on all the other things that are out there. The reality is is that's just a little drop in the bucket, but if that's all you look at, that's all you'll see, that's all you'll feel and it will dictate your day. So really get very aware of what you put your focus on to increase your productivity.

Speaker 1: 18:02

Now, understanding divine timing. This one has a little bit of a story because, for some of you you may know, I've been in network marketing for 15 years, with my current company going on 10 years this September and I was the second person to join the company and it was a bold move. It's a funny story for another day, but I really found an opportunity and I got excited I felt like it was definitely God's timing by me finding this company in a pre-launch and there was one other person in it when I joined, so I was excited. I didn't know what the Lord had planned for me, but I was really eager to find out right Like I just came in just open-eyed, so excited, not really sure what to expect, but just feeling blessed and that's a really great space to be in then. But it's also a little unpredictable, because I remember looking at the United States map and I was literally launching strangers on the map at the ball games, like cheering my son on and then putting it on mute and then like talking to you know team members and getting people enrolled. It was a crazy time, but it was a season that was really enjoyable too. It had a lot of different emotions attached to it. But once I got in this business see, this is where I'm going to debunk ground floor. I was ground floor. I was one of 11 that launched the company, the second to join.

Speaker 1: 19:34

I work direct to the corporate office, so my upline is the CEO president right. Someone's like oh, wow, you're so lucky and, although I'm blessed for sure, it was a lot of work being dragged, because really I'm not going to go field the president unless it's something urgent, because he's got a company to run. I was a forward thinking leader and so my pace and my race was different than others and I was okay with that. I remember meeting individuals when we launched and I thought you know, everyone has different personalities and different goals and we were all going to make this company successful together. That was the exciting point of it.

Speaker 1: 20:18

And so being direct to corporate, outside of another organization that was direct to corporate, I was a little bit more of the slow and steady, the tortoise in the hair, right that story. I didn't just go, go, go, go go. I had seasons of that, but I was really building on solid foundation. I wanted to build solid foundation. I wanted to wear my mom hat right, I just didn't want to wear the boss hat and hustle, hustle, hustle. I knew I had to take that hat off, I had to do mom time and that. So I knew my pace and my race was going to be a little bit different than some that didn't really have that mom hat on. Maybe they didn't have kids at the time, you know, or or they were in different seasons. That's okay.

Speaker 1: 21:01

I was just looking at where I was and so I started to feel the pressure. I started to get kind of like uncomfortable because I had kind of hit a plateau, although it was a really nice plateau, it was blessing us and I mean, it was more than we had hoped for. Somehow I had lost that ability to really sit and be appreciative of that and I started to let comparison come in. I started to let the negative self talk come in. I started to just focus on that one rank that I could not get away from if I tried, and at one point I even lost it and I lost the rank and I had to re-rank again and I thought now I'm going backwards, like I'm just, I'm a real and transparent leader, that's how I run my business and I'm just sharing with you where I was, and it was I had hit a in the, in the, like the COVID time, I had hit a big, a big level where we'd earned over a million dollars in commissions not sales, like we've earned it. And I don't say that to impress you, but to impress upon you that, you know, even in the moment of hitting such a goal, I had kind of watered it down because to me I felt like I had kind of not done it the fastest, I wasn't the biggest.

Speaker 1: 22:24

I was in that comparison mode and I was really self-sabotaging, I was getting in my way and it was really starting to affect me, and so I really started to pray on this. I really started to ask the Lord, you know, is this what I should, I do? I almost walked away. I was just kind of in this hard space of life and I started to feel the guilt again, the mom guilt, the self guilt, all the things like starting to come at me. And I remember I had to go up and make like this like kind of like acceptance speech on a stage at a convention, and I brought my children five of the seven with me. The two olders had to work, and my husband, of course he's like the rock right, like you could never do this without him, like one of them all there. I did not have a speech planned, excuse me. In fact I was kind of nervous because I was like here, it is this moment and I'm gonna go up here and I don't even know what I'm gonna say. And so as they rolled our video, kind of this like montage of the journey, I really wasn't present in that moment.

Speaker 1: 23:40

I was praying to God and I said, you know, lord, thank you, thank you for allowing me to just bless myself with your timing and to take that chaos and control off of me and to really kind of shift into a different space in my business. And it was such a transition point from when I had received that and went up on that stage and when I had all these, you know, younger there's a lot of younger girls in my company and I'm thinking like gosh. You know, what do I say to message out to these women who work so hard and maybe they're not yet a mom but they will be someday? What do I say, you know, to the woman out there that feels like I did, maybe wants to quit because her business has fallen back? Or what do I say to the woman who's just kind of burnout, because I had all of that in my journey to that moment?

Speaker 1: 24:37

And I believe it was the Lord's timing and the Lord's message that came out that day, because I said what he placed in my heart, like we all have our own journey and business. We all have our own journey as a mom and what I have learned the hard way kind of getting through all the cast to learning grace and getting out of the comparison moment, just loving myself authentically for who I am and where I'm at and really embracing my own race, even if I am the tortoise right, embracing it but understanding that God's timing is perfect timing that has been the biggest productivity when, for my business and for my life, having faith, moving forward, knowing that I show up in my day the best that I can be, focusing on those little, tiny wins even if they're small they're a win and understanding that he has designed this and I am just to show up and be very faithful to serve him through everything. And by doing that, friend, my mom guilt has left. My confidence has increased. I have become the type of businesswoman that I wanna be, that I'm proud to be and proud to emulate to my daughters. But more importantly, I am in a space of joy in my life.

Speaker 1: 26:13

I no longer hustle for anything. I show up and I work hard and I know people say hustle culture, this and that, and I'm a little bit of an anti-hustle culture. But I'm not anti-hard work, okay, because I think in a hustle culture we can get our priorities shifted and sometimes we can feel the chaos or the burnout or even the pain and self-doubt. But when you work hard and you have these structured systems in your place and it's foundational you can move the dial forward. You can get through any season and win. And you will have those times where you might doubt like, can I do this? That's when I pray. That's what our first series last week was about was putting prayer in the foundation of your business. By having prayer in your foundation, it's going to get you through there and understanding that God's timing is perfect timing Friend. I'm here to tell you you will start to look and feel like a different type of person in your business when you start to implement this into your life. I know for a fact it has changed me and I love that his timing is absolutely perfect and I'm just excited for what he has in store for me. And if I show up every day like that, I know I'm going to win and I know I'm going to be blessed, and so I hope today's episode speaks to you, no matter what season you're in.

Speaker 1: 27:53

If you're like me at the beginning and you're like, oh, I'm hustling and it's chaotic and I feel like I'm a little out of control, and that will lead to the burnout or the self doubt. I want to give you this episode as a reminder on the hard days, like flag it. Come back to it and understand you've got to give yourself grace, you've got to have grace as an entrepreneur, you've got to have grace on yourself and you've got to kick the mom guilt because you have so much in store for you. You are a blessing, you have gifts, and the only way to tap into those things, friend, is to understand and appreciate it and really know why you're showing up. And that's to have a purpose and to really have that built on a foundation of faith. So, guys, I hope today that got your cup filled. I hope that you're like OK, I needed that.

Speaker 1: 28:45

It's a Monday. This is going to get me through my week. Remember, keep it in your back pocket, because we're always going to have those seasons, those seasons of transition or pivot, or struggle. This episode might be that perfect one to grab out of the arsenal and listen to again and just understand you're growing, you're growing and you're learning and always, always, always, focus on the win of your day. Thank you, guys, so much. I will see you on the next episode in our productivity series and I can't wait to talk to you about purposeful building of your business. Really, pat, we're going to talk about purpose in a whole different way than you've ever heard it talked about before. Take care, gang, bye, bye.